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Celebrating Pride Month 2023 495 401 cj

Celebrating Pride Month 2023

Celebrating Pride Month 2023

By Leo Kirkham and Jay Baldwin

Pride Month is a time to celebrate the LGBTQIA+ community and all that we have accomplished. It is also a time to raise awareness of the challenges that LGBTQIA+ people still face.

Pride Month is celebrated every June to honor the LGBTQ+ community and our fight for equal rights. It began with the Stonewall Uprising in the early morning hours of June 28, 1969, when LGBTQ+ people in New York City protested against police brutality and discrimination during a police bar raid of a gay bar, the Stonewall Inn. The riots are widely considered to be a turning point in the LGBTQ+ rights movement.

The first Pride parade was held on June 28, 1970 in New York City to commemorate the one-year anniversary of the Stonewall riots. It was organized by “Mother of Pride,” Brenda Howard, a bisexual rights activist and feminist.

The second Pride parades were held in 1971 in various cities in the United States, including New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles.

The Stonewall Riots sparked a movement that has grown into a global celebration of love, acceptance, and diversity. Today, Pride Month is a time for LGBTQ+ people and allies to come together, celebrate their identities, and continue fighting for equality.

This year, Pride Month is particularly important because of the recent wave of anti-LGBTQIA+ legislation that has been passed in the United States. These laws have made it more difficult for LGBTQIA+ people to live their lives freely and openly.

In light of these challenges, it is more important than ever to celebrate Pride Month and to show support for the LGBTQIA+ community. Here are some ways to do that:

  • Attend a Pride parade or festival, such as WeHo Pride or LA Pride.
  • Donate to LGBTQIA+ organizations, such as Kaleidoscope.
  • Talk to your friends and family about LGBTQIA+ issues.
  • Use your voice to speak out against discrimination.
  • Ask your workplace to host an LGBTQ competency training.

If you aren’t out yet, don’t feel ready to come out, or maybe it’s not safe for you to be your authentic self with your family or friends, please know that you are not alone. There are many ways to acknowledge pride month, take part in pride events, or engage in a form of self care that honors your authentic self. There is no right or wrong way to be during Pride Month. Here are a few things we suggest trying out if you want to have a pride celebration privately, are just getting started in your journey, or just want a quieter activity.

Kaleidoscope is proud to affirm our LGBTQ+ community, especially our LGBTQ+ young people. If you do feel safe and ready to be part of a pride event in person, come celebrate with us on June 23rd from 6-8PM at our annual Pride Party in Sherman Oaks for LGBTQ+ youth ages 11-17. RSVP here!

From all of us at Kaleidoscope, wishing you a safe, heathy and joyous pride month, no matter how you choose to celebrate.

Upcoming Webcast: Navigating Your Child's Coming Out Journey Together Wed. June 21, 2023 10am PT
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Navigating Your Child’s Coming Out Journey Together 495 402 cj

Navigating Your Child’s Coming Out Journey Together

Navigating Your Child’s Coming Out Journey Together

All parents desire the best for their children, but many are caught off-guard when their child comes out as LGBTQ+. They are unsure of what to say and/or how to react or even “what this means.” LGBTQ+ youth can also face some unique challenges that parents often feel unprepared to tackle. In this webcast you’ll learn how to navigate this journey, find support, and ensure everyone’s well-being.

This webcast welcomes parents, educators, professionals, and the community at large.

During this webcast, we discussed:

  • Understanding the coming out process for young people
  • Exploring and normalizing common reactions when a child comes out
  • Learning how to compassionately support you and your child during their coming out process
  • Hear from a parent about their experience and journey

Speakers:

  • Dr. Jason Bolton (He/Him, Moderator), VP of Admissions & Community Partnerships at The Help Group
  • Jay Baldwin (They/Them), Program Director of The Help Group’s Kaleidoscope
  • Christina K. (She/Her) – Proud Parent

To learn more about our programs and services, please visit…

thehelpgroup.org |  kaleidoscopelgbtq.org

Register
International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia
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International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, and Transphobia 495 401 cj

International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, and Transphobia
International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia

International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, and Transphobia

By Leo Kirkham

The International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, and Transphobia is celebrated on May 17 every year.

The holiday was imagined in 2004 by grassroots activists, and commemorated for the first time on May 17, 2005. The day of May 17 was chosen to represent the day in 1990 that the World Health Organization removed “homosexuality” from its classifications of mental disorders.

The committee of grassroots activists went by the acronym IDAHO (International Day Against Homophobia). In 2009, the phrase transphobia was added to recognize the violence and discrimination against transgender people. By 2015, biphobia was added as well, to recognize the unique discrimination experienced by bisexual, pansexual, and other multisexual people. The complete acronym is now IDAHOBIT, recognizing lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people together.

Petitions were launched by IDAHOBIT in 2005 and 2009, attracting historical support from many non-profit organizations and countries across the world. In 2005, activities for the day took place worldwide, including the first LGBTQ events ever to take place in the Congo, China, and Bulgaria. In 2009, when transphobia was added to the campaign, the petition was supported by more than 300 non-governmental organizations from more than 75 countries, as well as three Nobel Prize winners. Shortly before May 17, 2009, France became the first country in the world to remove transgender people from their list of mental disorders.

The goal of the day is to create an event that can be visible at the global level without requiring a specific form of action, allowing LGBTQ people and allies to approach the day in a way that feels authentic and actionable for them. Petitions, protests, marches, letters to newspapers, letters to politicians, celebrations, and more are welcome on the IDAHOBIT. The goal is a worldwide day of raising awareness and taking action.

How will you take action this May 17?

  • Post on social media: Find an IDAHOBIT media kit here and here and post with the hashtag #IDAHOBIT2023
  • Join your local school board meetings and speak up in support of LGBTQ students
  • Join your local neighborhood council meetings and speak up in support of LGBTQ rights in your neighborhood
  • Write to your local politicians and vote!
  • Write a letter to the editor for your local paper supporting transgender rights
  • Listen to music by transgender musicians
  • Watch TV and movies starring transgender actors
  • And last but not least, VOLUNTEER with Kaleidoscope! We can use your help this summer, whether it’s at a social event or a resource fair, to support our LGBTQ+ youth and give them safe spaces to connect with each other and be their authentic selves.

From all of us at Kaleidoscope, thank you for reading and taking the time to honor International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, and Transphobia.

Allies: Speak Up on the Day of Silence
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Allies: Speak up on the Day of Silence 496 401 cj

Allies: Speak up on the Day of Silence
Allies: Speak Up on the Day of Silence

Allies: Speak up on the Day of Silence

By Leo Kirkham

We all remember – or for some of us, currently experience – how cruel kids can be in school. Bullying is a major problem for students who are marginalized in some way, whether it’s kids of color experiencing racism, disabled children experiencing ableism, or LGBTQ kids experiencing homophobia and transphobia.

52% of LGBTQ middle and high school students report being bullied in school or over the internet. These numbers are higher for middle schoolers (65%), transgender and nonbinary students (61%), Native and Indigenous students (70%), and multiracial students (54%).

Mistreatment by others, including bullying, is a strong and consistent risk factor for youth suicide. Youth who are bullied are three times more likely to attempt suicide. This is true whether the bullying takes place in person at school or online.

However, LGBTQ students who report that their schools are LGBTQ-affirming are less likely to be bullied, by 30% (The Trevor Project).

Started in the mid-90s by two college students, the National Day of Silence is an annual day of action to raise awareness about the effects of bullying and harassment against lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer/questioning students. Students – both LGBTQ and allies – who participate in the Day of Silence spend the entire day without speaking, to represent the way that bullying and harassment silences LGBTQ youth.

What can you do to honor the Day of Silence? Speak up! LGBTQ youth need adult allies to talk to their school administrators and teachers. Attend a school board meeting and voice your support for an LGBTQ-affirming school environment and anti-harassment and anti-bullying policies. Support LGBTQ-history and inclusive sex education. Support gender-neutral bathrooms in your local schools. A great example of affirming and safe spaces are The Help Group schools and Kaleidoscope programs.

Bullying is a significant area of concern for LGBTQ youth, particularly Native youth, transgender and nonbinary youth, and middle school students. Taking action to support bullied students can save lives.

For resources and support on how to support your LGBTQ+ students and youth, please reach out to us with any questions at [email protected].

Celebrating Transgender Day of Visibility
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Celebrating National Transgender Day of Visibility 495 400 cj

Celebrating National Transgender Day of Visibility
Celebrating Transgender Day of Visibility

Celebrating National Transgender Day of Visibility 2023

By Leo Kirkham

National Transgender Day of Visibility, celebrated on March 31, was founded in 2009 by transgender activist Rachel Crandall as a response to the lack of holidays celebrating transgender people, citing frustration that the only well-known transgender holiday was the Transgender Day of Remembrance.

Transgender Day of Visibility is a day to celebrate the transgender community and our diverse experiences and identities. It is a day to celebrate trans joy and the ways that transgender people are alive and well and living joyous, fulfilling lives.

Yes, trans people experience discrimination and tragedy, but that is not our whole story. We also experience love, friendship, happiness, chosen family, and long, happy lives. Here are five ways to celebrate Transgender Day of Visibility and honor your transgender sisters, brothers, and siblings.

1. Attend or volunteer at a local Transgender Day of Visibility event and celebrate with others in the community.

2. Follow and engage with transgender advocates and organizations on social media. Some people and groups to follow are:

3. Reach out to transgender people in your life and show them your support.

  • Check in about your loved one’s pronouns and name – their feelings may have changed, and they may wish to be referred to by a different name or pronoun.
  • Ask if your loved one wants help legally changing their name or starting a medical transition.
  • Ask your loved one how you can best support them in their journey and identity.

4. Educate yourself on transgender-related topics to be more informed and to better understand the community.

Some topics to research include:

  • Transgender homelessness
  • Transgender employment
  • Transgender housing
  • Transgender healthcare access
  • Transgender mental health
  • Nonbinary identities
  • Transgender education, students’ rights in school
  • Transgender media representation
  • Violence against transgender people
  • Marginalization of transgender women of color; intersectionality

5. Donate to organizations that are working to advance transgender rights and equality.

From all of us at Kaleidoscope, we want our Trans community to know that we see you, we hear you, and we uplift your stories and voices.

National LGBTQ+ Health Awareness Week
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National LGBTQ Health Awareness Week 495 401 cj

National LGBTQ Health Awareness Week
National LGBTQ+ Health Awareness Week

National LGBTQ Health Awareness Week

By Leo Kirkham

Sponsored by the National Coalition for LGBTQ Health, the 21st annual National LGBTQ Health Awarness Week is March 20-24, 2023. This week celebrates good health for LGBTQ people, and brings awareness to the health disparities faced by the community.

Looking for therapy for a teen or young adult?  The Help Group’s Lumina Counseling has appointment availability throughout the week and weekends, both in-person and online. To schedule an appointment or inquire for more information, call 818-779-5100 or visit our website to get started.

What is a health disparity?

A health disparity happens when one group of people has a different health outcome than another group, all other things being equal. For example, Black women are more likely to die from breast cancer than white women. This has to do with many factors – racial discrimination from healthcare providers, financial barriers to obtaining medical care, cultural norms around preventative breast cancer screenings (such as a white actress being chosen for a breast cancer screening commercial), and racism at a systemic level that keeps all of these connected factors in place.

For the LGBTQ community, health disparities are strongly related to discrimination, hostility, and social rejection. Whether it is from a family member, friend, teacher, boss, doctor, or another person, discriminatory behavior and words have an impact on the health of LGBTQ people.

Specifically, LGBTQ people have poorer outcomes with mental health, physical health, and access to healthcare. LGBTQ people are at a greater risk of suicide and suicidal thoughts and behaviors, mood disorders and anxiety, eating disorders, alcohol and substance use, and tobacco use.

These mental health concerns tie into physical health, such as liver disease, lung disease, heart disease, chronic pain, and the many health impacts of eating disorders. Those suffering from mental health distress may also be more likely to engage in risky sexual behavior, which can lead to trauma, STIs, and unwanted pregnancy. Gay and bisexual men are at a higher risk of HIV, as are transgender women, Black men, and Latino men. Lesbian and bisexual women and transgender men are at a higher risk of breast cancer (source).

Access is also an issue. LGBTQ people are less likely to have a regular healthcare provider or health insurance. Older LGBTQ adults report poorer health, more chronic conditions, and less social support. LGBTQ people are also more likely to report poor quality healthcare, unfair treatment by providers, and general lack of cultural competence by providers.

What causes these disparities for this population?

First, the minority status of LGBTQ people causes stress. Stress is a leading cause of both mental and physical health problems.

Discrimination against LGBTQ people creates systemic barriers to accessing quality healthcare. Discrimination and harassment in the workplace against queer and transgender employees makes it more difficult for LGBTQ people to stay employed at queer-friendly jobs that provide healthcare. Discrimination from healthcare providers themselves creates lasting harm for LGBTQ patients, who carry trauma and fear around medical care for the rest of their lives. 15% of LGBTQ people report delaying care or avoiding care altogether as a result of fear of discrimination. This number doubles to 30% for transgender patients (source).

Even a well-meaning doctor who considers themself an ally to the LGBTQ community can cause harm to an LGBTQ patient through ignorance and lack of knowledge. Many transgender patients find themselves doing research on transition care and teaching their own doctors how to care for them. 1 in 3 transgender patients have reported needing to teach their doctor about their identity in order to receive adequate care (source). Medical schools do not teach hormone therapy as a standard practice; a general practitioner would have to actively seek out education in this area to become informed. The lack of education around LGBTQ health issues and LGBTQ culture and identity creates a medical environment where LGBTQ people are not included, welcomed, or accommodated.

Many insurance plans do not cover transition-related healthcare procedures, such as hormones or surgery, or the cost of these procedures after insurance is still prohibitive for transgender people with higher rates of poverty, unemployment, and homelessness. Additionally, insurance plans sometimes mistakenly reject requests, such as rejecting a transgender man’s claim for a pap smear because his insurance profile reads as “male” (source).

Lastly, there is also a lack of clinical research on LGBTQ-related health issues. Where funding and research does not exist, neither does quality healthcare.

The good news is that change is being made. Advocates, students, medical professionals, and community members are working to improve the quality of healthcare that LGBTQ patients receive. Groups like the LA LGBT Center have programs like the Trans Wellness Center which provide low-cost transition-related health and wellness services for transgender and non-binary people in Los Angeles. Legislation like S.B. 107 in California will protect transgender children and their families fleeing states like Texas, Idaho, and Florida, which are trying to criminalize access to trans healthcare for youth.

If you are searching for an LGBTQ-affirming medical provider for yourself or your child, please see GLMA or OutCare.

Here’s to good health for us all.

23 LGBTQ+ Books To Read In 2023
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23 LGBTQ Books to Read in 2023 495 400 cj

23 LGBTQ Books to Read in 2023
23 LGBTQ+ Books To Read In 2023

23 LGBTQ Books to Read in 2023

By Leo Kirkham

Finding a good book is no easy feat. But whether it’s gray and rainy or shining and bright, this list of 23 new releases in 2023 books will help you get through your day with a smile on your face. Books with autistic representation are marked with an asterisk (*).

The Daughters of Izdihar by Hadeer Elsbai

In this book inspired by modern Egyptian history, Nehal is a young woman who desires to pursue an education in elemental magic. However, her father’s debts force her into an arranged marriage with a man who is in love with another woman, a bookseller named Giorgina. Giorgina is an earthweaver with uncontrollable powers who participates in the Daughters of Izdihar, a radical women’s rights group. As tensions rise with a neighboring nation and war looms in the background, Nehal and Giorgina must struggle to earn and keep their freedom.

Young adult, fantasy

Available January 10, 2023

A Tale Of Two Princes by Eric Geron

In this Parent Trap-style story, Edward and Billy are long-lost twins living vastly different lives–one as a prince, one in rural Montana–until a chance reunion in NYC brings them together. This story of growing pains and new beginnings is kicking off our year with a royal start.

Young adult, contemporary

Available January 10, 2023

Sorry, Bro by Taleen Voskuni

An Armenian-American woman is thrust into a month-long event series called “Explore Armenia” by her mother, who is pressuring her to find a husband. But it’s not the mom-approved doctor or engineer who catches her eye, it’s a woman named Erebuni. As the closing event looms and her whole family will be there, her worlds – proudly Armenian, proudly bisexual – are about to collide.

Adult, contemporary, romance

Available January 31, 2023

The Black Queen by Jumata Emill

Nova, the first Black homecoming queen at Lovett High, is found murdered. Her best friend, Duchess, is determined to expose the killer, who she believes is the beautiful, wealthy, and white popular girl who wanted the crown for herself, Tinsley McArthur. Duchess’s father is the first Black police captain in Lovett, and he falls behind the blue line and lets Tinsley walk. In order to prove that Tinsley is guilty, Duchess is going to have to get close to her.

Young adult, mystery

Available January 31, 2023

Hijab Butch Blues: A Memoir by Lamya H

A play on the classic novel, Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg , Hijab Butch Blues focuses on a queer hijabi Muslim immigrant who is surviving her coming of age by drawing strength from the Quran.

Nonfiction, memoir

Available February 7, 2023

She is a Haunting by Trang Thanh Tran

Another spooky read, She is a Haunting tells the story of a young Vietnamese girl, closeted to her estranged father, visiting him for a month in his French colonial house he is renovating. She wants to get in and get out of the house with the college money her father has promised her, but the house has other ideas. She keeps waking up paralyzed and covered in insect legs, haunted by the ghost of a bride who gives her one warning: don’t eat.

Young adult, horror

Available February 28, 2023

*The Ojja-Wojja by Magdalene Visaggio and Jenn St-Onge (illustrator)

Val and Lanie, eighth graders in a mysterious small town, experience a ghost sighting. After a run-in with the school’s queen bee (and Lanie’s former friend), they accidentally summon the Ojja-Wojja, a demon connected to the town’s dark history. With all hell breaking loose, Val, Lanie, and their small group of friends must save the town.

Graphic novel, horror, mystery

Available Mary 7, 2023

Something Wild & Wonderful by Anita Kelley

From the author of Love & Other Disasters comes a story about two men hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. In a grumpy-meets-sunshine rom-com, these two men must make decisions about their journeys – on the trail and off.

Adult, contemporary, romance

Available March 7, 2023

*This Is the Way the World Ends by Jen Wilde

At a scholarship dinner for her prestigious school, Waverly witnesses a brutal murder, followed by a global blackout. Waverly, her crush, and her friends must navigate through a maze of elevators, secret passageways, and back rooms to escape the masquerade ball and survive the night.

Young adult, mystery, thriller

May 9, 2023

The Big Reveal: An Illustrated Manifesto of Drag by Sasha Velour

The Season 9 winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race combines memoir, queer theory, and history into a stunning manifesto of drag.

Nonfiction, memoir, illustrated

Available April 4, 2023

Just As You Are by Camille Kellogg

As a writer at a queer magazine, Liz is not thrilled to learn that a new minority investor, Daria, is making big changes at her firm to cut costs. Daria is also critical of Liz’s writing, but just when Liz thinks she’s going to get herself fired with a mouthy comment, she spends more time with Daria and gets to know her soft side. Against her better judgment, Liz is feeling chemistry between them. Where will they go from here?

Adult, contemporary, romance

Available April 25, 2023

In the Lives of Puppets by TJ Klune

In this sci-fi retelling of Pinocchio, a human raised by a robot learns of his father’s dark past, and their family is suddenly on the run from authorities. To save his robot father from being deprogrammed, Victor must make decisions about what love and family means.

Adult, sci-fi, fantasy, fairytale retelling

Available April 25, 2023

*Margo Zimmerman Gets the Girl by Sara Waxelbaum and Brianna R. Shrum

Freshly out as gay to herself, and an overachiever, Margo is determined to master her gayness. In exchange for history tutoring, Abbie gives Margo Zimmerman “Queer 101” lessons. But as they spend more time together, Margo starts to realize she doesn’t want just any girl – she wants the girl.

Young adult, contemporary, romance

Available May 2, 2023

The Sun And The Star by Rick Riordan and Mark Oshiro

For Percy Jackson fans, this new book features the side characters and gay couple Nico and Will in a book of their own. Filled with mythology and adventure, this is a don’t-miss for fans.

Middle grade, fantasy

Available May 2, 2023

Only This Beautiful Moment by Abdi Nazemian

From the Stonewall Honor-winning author of Like a Love Story comes a story of three boys from separate generations of an Iranian family – one in 1939, one in 1978, and another in 2019 – each of them battling a unique challenge with their identity, sexuality, and intergenerational trauma.

Young adult, contemporary, historical fiction

Available May 9, 2023

You Don’t Have a Shot by Racquel Marie

Valentina arrives at her childhood summer soccer camp only to realize that her soccer rival, Leticia, is now her co-captain, and college scouts will be watching their skills as a team. Will they be able to put aside their differences and work together?

Young adult, contemporary, romance

Available May 9, 2023

Fake Dates and Mooncakes by Sher Lee

In this young adult rom-com, Dylan wants to win the mooncake-making competition to support his family, but when distraction Theo shows up and asks him to be his fake date to a wedding in the Hamptons, can Dylan follow his heart and save his family’s business?

Young adult, contemporary, romance

Available May 16, 2023

*The Luis Ortega Survival Club by Sonora Reyes

Warnings: sexual assault

Ariana, a queer autistic girl, is a victim of sexual assault at a high school party. When an unlikely group of students emerges determined to expose the truth and defend Ariana, this brave and heart-wrenching story turns to one of friendship and camaraderie when it matters most.

Young adult, contemporary

Available May 23, 2023

Pageboy by Elliot Page

The famous actor came out as trans in 2020 and plans to release his memoir this year. He wrote in his book announcement, “Books have helped me, saved me even, so I hope this can help someone feel less alone, feel seen, no matter who they are or what path they are on.”

Nonfiction, memoir

Available June 6, 2023

The Sea Elephants by Shastri Akella

Set in 1990s India, a young gay man runs away to escape his father’s threats to send him to a conversion camp. He joins a street theater troupe, playing the role of humans and gods, men and women, and he finally starts to feel like himself.

Adult, literary fiction

Available July 11, 2023

by Jake Maia Arlow

This book follows a middle school girl dealing with a Crohn’s disease diagnosis and the discovery that she is queer. With humor and honesty, this book is perfect for your middle schooler or for anyone willing to revisit those painful years.

Middle grade, contemporary

Available August 1, 2023

Teach the Torches to Burn by Caleb Roehrig

In this Romeo & Juliet retelling, a queer teen boy in Verona, Italy harbors a secret from his family: he only likes boys, and he doesn’t want to marry a woman to uphold his family’s “honor.” One night, he sneaks into a Capulet party with his cousin and meets Valentine, the sweetest, most beautiful boy. A tender romance begins as the conflict between the Montagues and the Capulets rages on, and Romeo and Valentine are in danger of losing each other forever.

Young adult, historical fiction, Shakespeare retelling

Available August 22, 2023

*The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White

In late 1800s London, a transgender boy with autism and the ability to commune with spirits falls ill and is sent away to a boarding school, where the ghosts of missing students begin asking him for help.

Young adult, horror, historical

Available September 5, 2023

Looking for fun, social programming for a teen or young adult, visit Kaleidoscope’s events page here.

Interested in therapy?  The Help Group’s Lumina Counseling has appointment availability throughout the week and weekends, both in-person and online. To learn more, visit Lumina Counseling’s website here.

Self Love on Valentine's Day
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Self Love on Valentine’s Day 495 400 cj

Self Love on Valentine’s Day
Self Love on Valentine's Day

Self Love on Valentine’s Day

By Leo Kirkham

Valentine’s Day is an ancient holiday that has changed over time from a feast day to honor the Christian martyr Saint Valentine, to a holiday celebrating love and romance across the world.

Some queer and trans people feel that Valentine’s Day is an overly commercialized, heteronormative holiday. There’s a social expectation on Valentine’s Day that a man will purchase flowers, chocolates, and a Hallmark greeting card for a woman.

From a trans person who doesn’t fit this gender binary, to a gay man who would prefer to be buying the chocolates for another man, to an asexual or aromantic person who doesn’t even have an interest in the whole affair, there are many ways that this traditional Valentine’s narrative does not fit the LGBTQIA community.

Rather than participating in the commercial holiday – or in addition to it! – I suggest the following tips for cultivating self-love and community on Valentine’s Day:

Let go of the need for a date or romance on Valentine’s Day.

You don’t need to participate in romance if you’re not interested. Cancel that dinner reservation and have a cozy night in with your friends, family, or loved ones. Love can take many forms.

Make handmade Valentines instead of buying a generic card.

The love and care that goes into a handmade card can be felt by the receiver. Have fun with some arts and crafts and make your own Valentine this year.

Not feeling crafty, but still want to bring a smile to your friends’ faces? Look up some Valentine’s memes and send them the pictures!

Take yourself on a date.

Draw yourself a bubble bath, read a nice book, curl up on the couch with some reality TV and takeout… You deserve love and care too!

Volunteer in your community.

If you’re feeling lonely, the greatest way to feel connected to your community is to give back. Volunteer with a group like the LA LGBT Center and see the impact you have on others.

Write a love letter to yourself.

This one is challenging, but try writing yourself a love letter. Write down: “Dear [name], I love you. Let me count the ways.” And list 20-30 things you love about yourself, or as many as you can. Read the letter out loud to yourself. Fold it up and slip it in a safe place to come back to it and reread it later.

This Valentine’s Day, I hope you feel loved by your community, your friends, your family, and most of all, yourself.

Gains and Losses in our LGBTQ+ Community: Reflecting Back and Looking Ahead
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Gains and Losses in our LGBTQ+ Community 495 401 cj

Gains and Losses in our LGBTQ+ Community
Gains and Losses in our LGBTQ+ Community: Reflecting Back and Looking Ahead

Gains and Losses in our LGBTQ+ Community

By Leo Kirkham

The New Year is a time for reflection and renewal. For the LGBTQ community, the New Year can be a time to remember the past year’s accomplishments and losses for queer and trans people.

There is no denying that 2022 was a difficult year for the LGBTQ community. From the Club Q mass shooting that left 5 dead, 19 injured, and an entire community grieving and destabilized, to armed far right Proud Boy protesters shutting down drag queen story times, our right to gather and express ourselves freely is being threatened by violence, intimidation, and hate.

2022 was a record year for anti-LGBTQ legislation: over 162 bills restricting LGBTQ rights were introduced in state legislatures. 58 were related to youth athletics, 44 had restrictions on curriculum, 30 had restrictions on adolescent healthcare, and 17 were related to religious and First Amendment exemptions.

But things are not all bad for the LGBTQ community. We are continuing to live and thrive as our authentic selves despite the hostility in the world.

In hopeful news, the House and the Senate just passed the Respect for Marriage Act, protecting same-sex and interracial marriages. Reception from the LGBTQ community has been mixed: on the one hand, the law passed and will protect same-sex marriages if the Supreme Court overturns Obergefell v. Hodges. On the other hand, it does not require states to legalize same-sex marriage, only to recognize legal marriages from other states.

Earlier this year, clinical trials began for three different HIV vaccines.

The Biden Administration began paying survivor’s benefits to LGBTQ elders.

Brittney Griner, a WNBA basketball star and Black lesbian, was just released from a Russian penal colony where she was held for ten months for possession of a vape containing hashish oil. She was returned to the U.S. during a prisoner exchange negotiated by the Biden administration.

This year, the “X” gender marker (an alternative to “F” and “M”) became available on U.S. passports. The Social Security Administration also no longer requires a doctor’s note to confirm a change of gender.

A new California bill will protect trans kids and their families fleeing states like Texas, Florida, Alabama, and Idaho which are criminalizing gender affirming healthcare for trans youth. SB 107 in California, proposed by Scott Wiener, will go into effect on January 1, 2023.

So what can we expect next year? We can only expect to see the progress that we fight for. The successes that we see in our public sphere and private lives must be celebrated as we continue to work toward justice and equality.

What are you doing next year for queer and trans kids? Some ways to give back are to donate to organizations like Equality Texas, Equality Florida, Trans Lifeline, Sylvia Rivera Law Project, and the Marsha P. Johnson Institute. You can also give a gift to a transgender youth this holiday season through Trans Santa. Consider joining your school board and advocating for LGBTQ students in your school district. Looking for more resources to support your child or trans youth in general? Check out transyouthequality.org/for-parents.

Next year, we can expect to see queer and trans resilience, excellence, love, and joy. We’re here, we’re queer, and it’s a new year.

Embracing Chosen Family Durning the Holidays and All Year Round
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Embracing Chosen Family During the Holidays and All Year Round 495 401 cj

Embracing Chosen Family During the Holidays and All Year Round
Embracing Chosen Family Durning the Holidays and All Year Round

Embracing Chosen Family During the Holidays and All Year Round

By Jay Baldwin

“It’s the most wonderful time….of the year.”

This time of year is typically associated with family gatherings full of celebrations, joy and togetherness. We are inundated by Hallmark movies, TV commercials, and social media posts that would have us believe that everyone should be sitting around a fireplace with their loved ones having the most wonderful holiday celebrations. Not everyone, however, has a family of origin they can or even want to be with for a variety of reasons. An increasing number of people, especially folks in the LGBTQ+ community, opt to surround themselves with their chosen family instead of their family of origin, not just during the holiday season but all year round.

Chosen families are the people we surround ourselves with who love us, support us and embrace us for exactly who we are. For many, they are far more loving and nurturing than the families they were born into. But it’s also important to note that a chosen family does *not* require the absence of a family of origin. Chosen family can exist as a powerful source of community in and of itself, or as an additional source of joy and support in addition to one’s family of origin.

Chosen families in the LGBTQ+ community have existed for decades. For centuries, the queer community has found a way to connect with each other and build systems of support when the heteronormative world was not a safe place to be seen and known. For many LGBTQ+ people who are seeking acceptance and understanding of their full selves, surrounding themselves with likeminded and like-identified folks can transform and even save their lives.

This holiday season, I invite you to think about our LGBTQ+ young people who are still navigating how to come out in their own families, facing rejection, or struggling to find their chosen family. I am proud to be donating to an organization called Transanta that helps deliver gifts to transgender youth in need, safely and anonymously. Transsanta was created because “right now, young trans people, particularly Black and Brown trans youth, are under attack across the country and around the world. The pandemic has exacerbated unsafe conditions for trans youth who are houseless, in foster care, in detention, and in abusive or otherwise unsafe housing situations. Transanta was created to show young people that they are loved, supported, and have a family of people around the world who care about them and want them to succeed.”

No matter what community we are a part of, we all desire and deserve meaningful and supportive connections throughout every stage of life. Whether you identify as LGBTQ+, or as a member of a different community entirely, I invite you to think about the concept of chosen family if you haven’t before, or what it means to be part of someone else’s chosen family. Who have you invited into your life who you consider family, even though you didn’t necessarily grow up with them? What kind of family do you want to surround yourself with and be a part of that you perhaps haven’t before? Whether you are with your family of origin, your chosen family, both, or neither, whether you are celebrating a lot, a little, or not at all, I see each and every one of you, and I wish you all a safe and healthy holiday season.