Posts Tagged :

safe space

  • By:
Preparing For A Thoughtful Thanksgiving 495 401 cj

Preparing For A Thoughtful Thanksgiving

Preparing For a Thoughtful Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is almost upon us, bringing with it lots of family togetherness and delicious food favorites. For many folks, this is a much-anticipated family holiday. And while we hope that all members of the Kaleidoscope community will spend Thanksgiving with supportive friends and families, we know that for some, this may be a holiday with awkward and uncomfortable interactions with family members that are still on their journey to acceptance.

If you are feeling unsure or nervous about what the Thanksgiving holiday may have in store, for yourself or for your LGBTQIA+ child, you are not alone. Holidays carry a lot of emotional weight, but LGBTQIA+ young people should enjoy the holiday while also taking good care of themselves. Here are some suggestions for setting boundaries that will allow for all family members to have an enjoyable holiday:

Talking with Grandparents:

Some older people may be unfamiliar with the terminology and pronoun use that is common in the LGBTQIA+ community. Be patient with grandparents and older relatives, as their intentions might be good. It may be helpful to talk with grandparents before the holiday. A grandparent may not yet be able to accept and support their LGBTQIA+ grandchild, but they can still be expected to interact with their grandchild in a respectful manner when attending a family gathering. Offer explicit clarification for any new names to use, what pronouns to use, and how to demonstrate affirmative support, especially regarding clothing, hairstyles, make-up and tattoos. Grandparents just may surprise you with their acceptance!

Hang out with allies:

Try to seat LGBTQIA+ young people at dinner next to someone who is supportive of them and makes them feel safe. Allow everyone to spend the time before and after the holiday meal with the people they choose to be with.

For LGBTQIA+ young people who may not have family members who are able to provide affirming support, the goal may be just getting through the holiday. Let your LGBTQIA+ child know that you are trying to make the day feel manageable.

Acknowledge that your LGBTQIA+ child may be feeling sad or defeated by a family member’s intolerance. Encourage them to text with friends that make them laugh and feel loved. This kind of connection will allow them to feel better and remind them that they have people in their corner who adore them for their authentic self. And knowing that there is someone to vent with just may give everyone the power to enjoy the holiday.

Even in the most supportive and loving families, the holidays can feel overwhelming. It is ok for all family members to take some time to be alone and re-charge. Encourage everyone to make time to get outside and go for a walk, or take a nap or read a book. It is the right thing for everyone to make self-care a priority.

Kaleidoscope is always here for you and especially during the holidays. Our weekly virtual Pride Clubs for 12-17 year olds and weekly virtual Coffee Chat for 18-24 year olds are safe spaces to share your thoughts and feelings.

Questions?

For more information

Learn More
Profile Picture of Jeri Rochman

Jeri Rochman, JD, MS

Jeri Rochman, JD, MS, is the Advance LA Director of Community Outreach, a Life Skills Coach, National Board Certified Counselor and Certified Parent Educator. Interested in learning more about Advance LA’s services?

Contact

EmailWebsite
  • By:
Every School Campus Should Be A Safe Space 495 401 cj

Every School Campus Should Be A Safe Space

Every School Campus Should Be A Safe Space

It’s Back-To-School Time! Students who feel welcomed, valued, and comfortable at school are likely to be eagerly awaiting the first day of school. But for many neurodivergent and neurotypical LGBTQIA+ students, the start of a new school year may bring feelings of trepidation and anxiousness. These feelings are understandable because not all LGBTQIA+ students feel comfortable being their authentic selves at school. However, there are a number of ways for a school to create a safe environment for LGBTQIA+ students. And if your child’s school needs assistance in this area, here are suggestions parents can make so that all students feel safe, welcomed, and included in their classrooms and on their school campus,

Back in 2010, GLSEN (The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network) launched their “Safe Space Campaign” to empower educators to make classrooms safe for LGBTQIA+ students.

A classroom can become a “safe zone” with the use of stickers or posters that display rainbow flags or portray families with same sex parents. These decorations signal to students that they can know that a classroom is a safe space and that the teacher is a safe person for LGBTQIA+ students. Students know that anti-LGBTQIA+ language will not be allowed in the classroom, and that the teacher is open to discussing LGBTQIA+ issues in the context of classwork or just in conversation.

GLSEN conducted a study to determine the effects of their campaign and found that the campaign made a big difference in LGBTQIA+ students’ belief  that their school is safe and that there are adults on campus that they can trust. Many students reported that seeing a rainbow sticker on a classroom door just made them feel better. Learning for Justice, a nonprofit organization with a goal of justice for all, also conducted a study and noted that having safe zone signage “signals to LGBTQIA+ students that the adult in that classroom or office has their back”

Another way schools feel safe is by having a LGBTQIA+ organization on campus. These are sometimes known as GSA’s (Gay/Straight Alliane or Genders & Sexualities Alliance) or Pride Clubs. These extracurricular groups are shown to positively affect ALL students on campus in that they provide support for LGBTQIA+  students which creates awareness and decreases discrimination against all students. Offering to start a group at your school or becoming an advisor for an existing one can help make your school a safe space for everyone.

A further way to signal that a school is a safe space is by adding gender pronouns in email signatures. The addition of pronouns is becoming more common in diverse and inclusive environments. This practice helps reduce mis-gendering and is an important strategy toward inclusivity. This is an example of what it looks like to add a signature to an email:

Mrs. Smith, 10th Grade English

Pronouns she/her/hers
East Ridge High School
Los Angeles, CA 90025

Another way to model self-expression and self-identification is for adults at school to share their pronouns when making an introduction. For example, “Hello, I am Principal Jones and I use he, him, his pronouns. What pronouns do you use?” By making an introduction like this, you are signaling that you are a safe person and that you are interested in meeting the person you are talking with.

Kaleidoscope wishes everyone in our community a safe and happy fall semester for everyone. If you would like to learn more about making schools feel safe for LGBTQIA+ students, or would like guidance about starting a GSA on your school campus, please reach out! You can email us at [email protected]

Profile Picture of Jeri Rochman

Jeri Rochman, JD, MS

Jeri Rochman, JD, MS, is the Advance LA Director of Community Outreach, a Life Skills Coach, National Board Certified Counselor and Certified Parent Educator. Interested in learning more about Advance LA’s services?

Contact

EmailWebsite
  • By:
Kaleidoscope Pride! 400 300 cj

Kaleidoscope Pride!

Kaleidoscope Pride!

It is with great excitement that we are launching the Kaleidoscope website, as we are thrilled to be able to reach more people and provide support.  It is also a happy coincidence that this launch coincides with LGBTQ+ Pride month!  We are certainly proud to be able to work with our LGBTQ+ youth and young adults and we also encourage them to feel proud of who they are.  Check out our Events page to find out where you and your families can show your support by attending Pride events this month.  You may encounter us at a Kaleidoscope booth when you do…  Please say hello!

What is the significance of showing LGBTQ+ Pride?  Perhaps in your own family, you’ve heard the question asked, “Why don’t people just keep that private?  I’m straight and I don’t feel the need to throw a parade about it.”

To address that question fully, we need to go back to the not-so-distant past… Straight, cisgender people were never thrown in jail for being born that way.  However, being LGBT was a criminal offense in California until 1975!  Until then, patrons of gay bars were often placed under arrest and their names were printed in local newspapers, leading to being fired from jobs and ostracized from families.  It was also a criminal offense to be in public wearing articles of clothing that did not “match” the gender on one’s identification!  It took acts of civil disobedience (basically, standing up and being proud of who we are in the face of intense opposition) to change laws and be treated more equally.

This struggle for equality continues to this day.  And to be seen, we must be visible.  In battling a 1978 proposition that would make it legal for teachers suspected of being LGBT in California to be fired, Harvey Milk shouted the battle cry “Come out, come out, wherever you are!”  Today, we understand that coming out is a challenging and ongoing process that must be done safely at the own pace of each individual.  For those who are safely able to, however, standing up and being seen and affirmed for who we are can be an incredibly empowering act.  And it helps others to be able to do the same.

Perhaps Artem Kolesov said it best:  “We don’t come out for heterosexual people to know.  We don’t come out for the ones who hate us to know.  We shout and make as much noise as possible just so other people like us who are scared and can’t be themselves would know that they are not a mistake and they are not alone.”

At Kaleidoscope, we hope to help you see that – although you are beautifully unique – you are not alone.  Whether you are able to express who you are to just one supportive person or to the world from atop a parade float, you bring your own colorful expression to this world.  You are special.  We are here to support you.  We are proud to stand with you.  In fact, at Kaleidoscope, we are proud of you!

About the author

Contact

Bryan Scheihing is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who provides individual, group, and family therapy support with the Kaleidoscope program as well as working in the community to promote positive institutional support of LGBTQ+ individuals. He has dedicated his professional life to helping provide affirmative support to members of the LGBTQ+ community by promoting awareness, acceptance, empowerment, and equality while also helping individuals realize their potential and achieve their goals. Interested in receiving Kaleidoscope services? Contact Kaleidoscope by email today!

Email